Friendship, walking on that fine line....

examples of walking a fine line:
 "Sally walks a fine line in renogotiating higher prices with our best client."
 "The police chief is walking a fine line in dealing with the kidnappers."
 "Steve walks a fine line in flirting with his bestfriends girl"
 "Jane walks a fine line in telling her good friend she doesn't like her husband"


Now that we have some examples set in place I can begin. Friendship is a hard thing, its a relationship just like with your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. It always takes work and  both people have to make an effort. Friends are gonna fight. Your gonna want to claw eachothers eyes out at times. But theres also a lot of times where you laugh together, do nothing together, drink together, be in eachothers weddings and so on and so forth.

So what sends a friendship over that death cliff? It can be a number of things; Time, Lying, stealing a boyfriend, Stealing a job,ect. And how do you know when a friendship is over? Do you break up? Sit down and chat it out and decide to go your seperate ways? Just quit talking to eachother? Theres no friendship statuses on facebook to change to "ended friendship" "single friend" or "best friend wanted". Its impossible to stay friends with everyone you ever meet or have a relationship with. If you say you can I say you're a liar and I have a name for people like you!

I know I hate confrontation. Especially with a friend or family member. I used to be very bad about avoiding it all together. I dont really hold grudges, no matter how hard I try. And I can usually bounce right back after a short period of time if someone pissed me off. But how do you approach a confrtonational situation with a dear friend that you already have a very strained relationship with? This is something I've been stewing with for more than a year now. How do you begin? Where do you start? We all know when you start pointing the finger at someone else they are going to start pointing one of their little digits right back at you. Sometimes it can be hard to hear the truth. You dont know if you want to hear it so you avoid the whole situation all together. Think you'll get over. Well heres a new flash for everyone: YOU WONT GET OVER IT!

Turns out im not the only one with issues in one of my "friendships", if you can even call it that anymore. A friendship I used to hold very near and dear is in the process of crashing and burning. Its a 50/50 blame here. Its crashing on my end because Ive had quite a few issues and ill feelings towards the person for the last year or so but kept my mouth shut. It was just too hard. Its burning on her end because she distanced herself from me instead of talking to me and clearing the air about something she wasnt happy with. In excluding me from a lot of her life, it made me feel like I'd done something wrong. I could never figure it out. I was always upset about the direction our friendship was going. People got tired of hearing me talk about it, so I had to just keep it all, and that never does any good either.

No normal, sane person likes picking fights with their best friends and loved ones, but sometimes a fight is the only way to come up with an answer. One awesome thing Zach has taught me to do is hash it out. You cant hold things in, gotta just talk it out, no matter what the subject or how sensative it may be. Its hard sometimes when your walking a fine line between 2 things.You dont want to hurt someones feelings but by keeping your mouth shut and putting space between 2 people can be worse than talking about whatever it is thats got you upset. If the person is a true friend, they will understand and you'll figure out a way to get over it or move on from the friendship. Either way it saves a lot of unwanted doubt, self pitty, sadness, and stress. But I am more now than I ever was a firm believer in its all about how you approach the situation (my awesome hubby taught me that also). How you bring up the topics. It could even save a friendship.

A friendship is like anyother relationship. Its a 2 way street. Theres other peoples feelings involved when you make decisions about the relationship. Be mindful of others thoughts and hearts. I know Im not always, but will try to work harder at that.

"The most fatal disease of friendship is gradual decay, or dislike hourly increased by causes too slender for complaint, and too numerous for removal."